Insane Mommy

I have mommy moments when I don't just feel guilty, I feel a little mean. Okay, a lot mean. And defensive. Tonight was one of those nights. The reason for my guilt is that I am currently sitting at a restaurant having dinner solo while G and the girls are fending for themselves at home. After I leave this restaurant where I am being waited on, I will go shopping while G bathes the girls and puts them to bed. I won't be there to kiss them goodnight. Big time mommy guilt. But here is my defense.

G has a deadline on Friday. He worked late several nights last week. He worked all day today which is Sunday. He will probably work late every night this week. I need a break from my little darlings so that tomorrow when EC tells me seventeen times that she wants a cowgirl doll for her birthday, I don't snap.

I love my kids and I want to be excited that EC loves cowgirls, but I have to tell ya. It's hard to sustain my excitement without a break from it all.

And so tonight when I told the girls goodbye and EC cried and pleaded that she wanted her Mommy, I felt mean, but I left anyway. Because I'm pretty sure I'll be meaner tomorrow without some time away.

Candice Barter

Sent from my iPhone, so please forgive my typos!